Black Hole Girl

I looked to reaching ebony,
So black I thought I'd cry
And saw the face of She, unknown,
My Black Hole in the sky.
Drawing all into her grasp,
An ever-tightening spot.
Stealing light from everything
I hoped or knew or thought.

Where once had been a figure
Of a woman
Out in space,
Now stands a blackened hole that
Will not tarry
From this place.
My stunning archetype of thee,
Collapsing in eternity.

These aching eyes have dreamed the light
Of worlds so far away;
Too far to tell if they're alive
Or tortured and decayed.
My waxen wings still carry me
Into a solar climb;
Yet still they melt and burn away,
Without a sun to find.

Where once had been a figure
Of a woman
Out in space,
Now stands a blackened hole that
Will not tarry
From this place.
My stunning archetype of thee
Collapsing in eternity.

Black Hole Girl,
Hold me close,
And stave away
The pain...
Black Hole Girl,
Don't let go,
Don't let go...

Where once had been a figure
Of a woman
Out in space,
Now stands a blackened hole that
Will not tarry
From this place.
My stunning archetype of thee
Collapsing in eternity.

So sayeth The Brad...

The Deep Breath Precedes the Climb

It's so lonely at the top,
With no rungs yet left to climb
Nothing but a foothold and an echo
Did I really reach the peak
Or just tire before my time,
Too weary to look upwards anymore?

And I've scaled these tower stairs a million times
Chronicled and riddled them with verse and note and rhyme
Looking out the windows
As possibility shrinks away
High enough to see the lights
Of many other days
But all the things I long for stay below,
With nothing left above me but this firmamental dome.

I might come crashing down
Merely balance at this point;
Apex wasn't built for standing strong.
All the doubts just gathering
To herald my defeat -
Send me to the ground where I belong!

And I've scaled these tower stairs a million times
Chronicled and riddled them with verse and note and rhyme
Looking out the windows
As possibility shrinks away
High enough to see the lights
Of many other days
But all the things I long for stay below,
With nothing left above me but this firmamental dome.

Why is there never room for company
When having someone was the thing that spurned me on?
Why are there always those I leave behind;
Saved because I leave them there
While pressing upwards into colder, thinner, deadly atmosphere!?!

So sayeth The Brad...

A Failure Before My God

So, I'm just about the world's biggest doofus. Oh, and don't forget to throw the adjectives spineless and lethargic into that description too. The time that I am posting this under is right around the time that I SHOULD have been giving a word to our church body. The Spirit was moving on my soul, but I fought it and missed my chance. So, in a (hopefully) repairative manner, I'm going to just post as much as I know I would have said. The rest is for you to pray about, if this part speaks to you. I can only apologize that I wasn't willing enough to deliver the whole message and see what the Spirit had in store. And for all those who find this a bit freaky, don't worry... I do too.

"If you cry out for strength, then turn to the One who is strong.
If you are calling for wisdom, should you not turn to the One who is wise?
When you are seeking guidance, look to the One who has paved the way.
If you desire balance, cling to the One who has given all power and weight.

A man who is seeking relief would not turn to another who desires to add to his burden.
Therefore, why do you rely on that which will not satisfy?
You drink from wellsprings that can never quench the thirst you carry,
And you eat from storehouses that leave you emptier than before.

There is only one Truth to which you must cleave,
There is merely a single Power which can satiate your desires.
Draw near to Me and receive My promise, fulfilled.
I will grant to you all that you require."

Whew. That was interesting. Hopefully it was helpful to someone. Oh, and perhaps this will mean that someone will start keeping me accountable to respond the next time the Holy Ghost moves on me.

So sayeth The Brad...

Calling Out to a Love Forgotten

(SO, SOMEONE'S BOUND TO TAKE THIS ENTRY THE WRONG WAY, SO HERE'S A QUICK EXPLANATION. THIS IS TALKING ABOUT THE REFORGING OF THE PASSION BEHIND AN INTENSE RELATIONSHIP (ONE OF LOVE) BUT IT'S DESCRIBED AS A LONGING FOR A REKINDLED PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP. I LIKED THE CONTRAST, SO BACK OFF. IT'S MY BLOG. BUT SERIOUSLY, IF THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR SOMEONE OR IT OFFENDS JUST LEMME KNOW AND I'LL TAKE IT DOWN.)

Your scent has drifted in my door,
It's slipping cross the rug
Seeping through my pillowcase:
Anticipated love to take place.
Still the only thought that
Seems to stay with me anymore
While all the others fade, sepia toned,
You contrast space when I'm alone.

We need to get back to you and me
Twisted up in good times, tangled sheets,
Accomplishing amazing feats
Finding I can be complete.

In the corner of my room
I found a moan, leftover;
I clutched it to my heaving chest -
Reminder of what I had loved best.
All I do is sit and wait
For you to come back to my arms;
That's where my loving heart does show
I threw the sleeves out long ago.

We need to get back to you and me
Twisted up in good times, tangled sheets,
Accomplishing amazing feats
Finding I can be complete

Our silhouettes are tracing lines and
Curves through wisps of smoke we find
Trailing off the wicks of candles,
A shadow show is underway.
The night can keep our secret
As long as the pillows keep it
And we promise never to tell about
What we're doing here today...
And then I wake up, and think:

We need to get back to you and me
Twisted up in good times, tangled sheets,
Accomplishing amazing feats
Finding I can be complete
We need to get back to you and me...
So I can get back to everything else.

So sayeth The Brad...

Stained Glass

Creation simply God reflects
And gives us means to see.
But what was once a modest window
Changed on Calvary.
My life and all the Earth was altered
Through when Christ was maimed;
His blood has made our lives into
His stained glass window panes.

So sayeth The Brad...

It's Hard to Date Jesus

Yeah, so in response to my previous point; I ran into kind of a snag last night. Christ is definitely still the only person I need to complete my life, but yesterday I realized that having someone to supplement it wouldn't be all that bad. For example; I was sitting next to my friend Mike last night and I turned to him and said, "It's too bad that Jesus can't just chill and watch the movie with us. I think we need ladies for that." We had a good laugh about it, and then made some cracks about if God could really fit into our tiny little theater (He is big-boned, after all). However, that really did kind of run me into a bit of a connundrum. God is always with me, Christ never leaves me, the Spirit continues to provide... but darnit I sure wish they could just physically sit down and catch a flick with me. Or have a really great conversation with me while we sipped on some Starbucks. Or take me home to meet the parents (I hear that Mary and Joseph are good people).
I discovered that the hardest thing about being single, with no one in sight is that there are little things that I dig. I like it when I get to hold a girl's hand, I enjoy making someone laugh, I love trying to impress parents, etc. I get an eternity to spend with my Savior - in His presence - but there's no way to replicate that physically. You just feel so distant from Him when you know that you've got years left to spend before you get the honor of dwelling in Him. I just want to fill up a little bit of that pocket left by stupid, human emotions.
But the thing is that I have felt myself, as of late, becoming more and more picky. When you really look at it, everyone has let everyone else down at one point or another. I have let all of you that care to read this down, as you all have me. Now, this may have been in the past or it may be yet to come, the point is its slowly whittling down my relationships. People are just dissappointing. It's a bottomline truth that we all face. So at the end of all this, when all of the chaff is separated, really there's only that cosmic duo: God and self. And if we were being really picky, self wouldn't have any place in that relationship, but God lets it happen anyway (because He's amazing like that). Everyone has one relationship in which the other party will never let them down. People may think that God dissappoints, but he doesn't. We do dissappointing or shameful things, and when we have no one else that we want to blame it on (least of all ourselves) we chuck it on Him. He's never been unfaithful to even those most worthy of scorn. Heck, we don't like to think about it, but He was even faithful to someone like Hitler (in that God has judged and dealt with him justly according to how he chose to live his life).
So, in essence, we're "stuck" with only this one truly satisfying relationship. The nice thing for most people is that they are able to find someone who they're willing to be patient with, willing to gloss over their faults if they promise to forget their own. I don't seem to be able to do that. I wish I could, but when you hold all prospects up to the light of Christ... eh... its just not something that I'm able to get past. Don't get mad though. I absolutely love everyone that I am in a relationship with now; I would and will gladly do anything for you. You just can't be my girlfriend (sorry all you young, hopeful guys out there).

Summation of entire entry: Gabriel's a bit miffed because he can't hold Jesus' hand or buy Him popcorn at the theater.

So sayeth The Brad...