Best Laid Plans...

Basically, this weekend has taught me a few things. Hence, the many values (both poisitive and negative) of mistakes. So, while mistakes are not something that we have the right to make, they can often-times teach us our most needed lessons...

Don't live in fear of what you are unable or unwilling to do. But, in turn, don't lack the fear of doing things you ought not to do.
Don't hesitate to do the things you won't forget. But, in turn, don't lack hesitance in situations that you might regret.
Don't refuse the fact that you have the ability to touch people. But, in turn, don't lack the knowledge that you have the ability to hurt people.
Don't build your self-worth solely upon how others see you. But, in turn, don't lack the conviction to be as shining an example as possible.
Don't realize too late the things you failed to do. But, in turn, don't lack forgiveness for yourself when you have admittedly done wrong.

Do all these things; and start to live as one should truly live.
and live a life of balance.
and enjoy freedom from extremes.
and delight in what He provides us.

So sayeth The Brad...

Whispered

The notes in this song are
Brimming with my words,
Overflowing with the things
I'd like to say.
What I'd love for you to hear
But I can't say because of fear
So listen up, I'll make it clear
With a softly whispered song in your ear...

I'm longing, and hoping, and needing to hold you
So softly, close to me, and don't you know that
I'll always protect you. Soft, unspoken words -
That I hope you heard...

Did you feel my heart jump
When I wrote you this line?
Thoughts of you creeping in
The single thing that's on my mind
On my heart that's on my sleeve
If you come closer you'll believe
Taste and touch and feel and see
And hear the way I wish it could be...

I'm longing, and hoping, and needing to hold you
So softly, close to me, and don't you know that
I'll always protect you. Soft, unspoken words -
That I hope you heard...

Standing at the waters edge
Waves are lapping at your heels
Sometimes beauty's not about
The other senses; just the feel.

So sayeth The Brad...

2D People

What you've see is what you'll get
Culture based on looks alone
Bias drawn, bigots poised,
Paper person and a heart of stone.
Blinders on, they see nothing but
What's straight ahead;
If you're not pretty on the outside
You might as well be dead!

No depth, no breadth, no life
Living it out with just two sides
Blank stare - two dots for eyes
Blackened ink is what they cry
Shrouded up in darkened lies
Living out life with just two sides

The whole world is discus flat,
Improbable as it may be
Sheets of people walk around
Judging you and judging me
They will cut you with their edges
Razor sharp and paper thin
2-dimensional people flap
Like tissue in the wind!

Do you hear them coming?
Troops are on the march again -
I just can't escape them...
Multitudes of flattened men!

No depth, no breadth, no life
Living it out with just two sides
Blank stare - two dots for eyes
Blackened ink is what they cry
Shrouded up in darkened lies
Living out life with just two sides

So sayeth The Brad...

A Perpetuated Weariness

I'm still weary in my heart from ravages by
the day
And long to feel the cold embrace provided through
the night
But longing as I am, and even hoping as
I may
I'm hearing voices in my head:

"Don't release your life"
They scream into the night

For when I lay my restless head on pillows'
downy fill;
When I trust that slumber provides a respite from
my plight;
I hear calls a million strong that threaten to
drown me still...
I'm hearing voices in my head:

"Don't release your life"
They scream into the night

For if I wake from sleep serene...

Was Life all
(merely)
Just a dream?

So sayeth The Brad...

Gabriel's Guide to Bad Kissers

Welcome one and all to the Gabriel School of Kissing Education. Today you'll be getting a primer course in identifying when you have, indeed, had a bad kiss. You were engaged by a person who just plain SUCKED at kissing (and not in any kind of good sense either).
Now, everyone must understand that when a person is a bad kisser, that means they fall into one of the following categories/descriptions:

Teeth Gnashers - These poor unfortunate souls have the annoying and sometimes dentally detrimental habit of clinking, clacking and otherwise scraping their teeth into yours. This leads to the eroding of enamel, the destruction of your smile, the ruining of the mood, and that annoying teeth-on-teeth feeling. They can be especially bad if, say, they have braces. This can lead to the dreaded skin-grafting scenario, that NO ONE wants to get into. Cause then it gets biblical ("and there was wailing and gnashing of teeth...") This category also includes the Inappropriate Biters.
Succubi - These used to be lewd female demons that would coerce men into having naughty demonic sex with them (no joke, check your Bibles/Talmuds/Quarans/Demon books). Now I have made this the category for those who seem to think that passion equals an inappropriately extreme amount of tongue/tongue-action. A Succubus can be either a woman OR a man. These are those foul creatures that enter your mouth and go to work like they were excavating something. Full-on tongue attacks with hurricane gale force. It's a scary thing to be attacked by a Succubus: I was confronted a year ago and I still have yet to recover. This can also mean that perhaps the force of the tongue was not too great, but the amount was. These are the gag-reflux-inducing Succubi, a very tricky breed indeed.
Salivators - Ok, not much explanation is needed here. These are just people who don't get that kissing does not need nor warrant vast amounts of saliva left anywhere other than the inside of the mouth. No one wants to have to towel off after being with their kissing partner. So just stop it.
The Lost - These poor souls... stumbling through the darkness. Actually, these kissers are the ones that, even if it wasn't dark, probably couldn't find your head. They bump foreheads, push noses, and just get in the way of what the two of you are trying to accomplish. This is just plain disorientation, finding its way into the kissing scene. Its a sad thing, really... to be one's own worst enemy when it comes to smooching. And this disoriented state doesn't merely reside in the head... this happens when the hands, feet, any body part is just useless and obstructive. Now, granted, everyone has difficulties sometimes, but The Lost are the ones who refuse to acknowledge it or correct it. So sad.

Is there hope for these poor unfortunates? Of course there is. But as their partners, we need to be willing to offer help, be understanding and not criticize. If someone gives you a really bad kiss, and its someone you care about... then care enough to help THEM help YOU. It's that simple.

So sayeth The Brad...

Trendy vs. Practical

trend·y
adj. trend·i·er, trend·i·est
1. Of or in accord with the latest fad or fashion: trendy clothes.

prac·ti·cal
adj.
1. Intended to serve a purpose without elaboration: practical low-heeled shoes.
2. Concerned with the production or operation of something useful: Woodworking is a practical art.

Usually I wouldn't write a followup entry. Nor would I write an entry as a response to comments from someone like Shaun (love you dude!), but this subject just can't be ignored. I promise I'll make this personal squabble brief and painless. Or maybe just brief. We'll see...
It was brought to my attention that for writing "Pink is the New Black?" on my blogger I was being hypocritical. I beg to differ. Yes, blogging or web logging did start out as a trendy thing. I offer you several reasons why it now fails to be so, at least in most cases. The first is that there is a marked difference between trendy and practical, as demonstrated above. This blog's purpose is not to keep with some kind of web standard, but rather because it gives me a very easy and PRACTICAL way of communicating thoughts to friends and releasing emotional/lyrical/whatever energy. I write in this blog to clear my mind, to vent frustration, to compose pieces, etc. I DO NOT write stupid, inane entries every few hours about my day and all of its trivialities. If I were to do this, then perhaps this would entail following a trend: desperately trying to come up with things to talk about so that there never goes by a day sans an entry. Another reason, much in keeping with the first, is that there are certain things that, over time, become a non-issue when it comes to trendiness. Computers, cd's, hip-hop, the internet were definitely all trends for a while. But these things have become a part of life. They are essential to this modern society that we live in.
Basically this entry died... but it's been sitting as a draft for a week now, and I just wanted to make sure that I got this thought up there.
Oh, and Jeremiah said something genius... People who go out and buy pink clothes now and continue to wear them will start to regret it (just like the eighties is still doing to some poor folks).

So sayeth The Brad...

Pink is the New Black?

This entry goes out in a response to a sickening new trend in the so-called "fashion world". This trend involves the wearing of pink (not salmon... PINK, because there is apparently a huge difference) by gentlemen. Now, I don't mean to play the whole "boys wear blue girls wear pink" scenario, but let's take a step back and realize the kind of situation that is going on here. We have DUDES wearing PINK. Anyone? Anyone care to comment? Yes? No? Perhaps? I was in the mall today, and I saw three of the most ghetto lookin dudes this side of the Ohio River. They had the long baggy jeans, a couple of fine biznatches, and... oh... what's that? A freakin PINK MOTIFF going through their whole outfits! I mean, it looked like they coordinated with eachother to look extra stupid. But then I took a surveying look around and saw that half the guys out there were wearing pink: pink shorts, pink striped shoes, and those stupid pink polo shirts where you flip the collar up... AAARGH! It's so frustrating, but no one else seems to understand.
Well I, for one, am no fashion afficionado. I've been told, and rightfully so, that I can barely dress myself on a regular basis. But I do know one thing: there is a very, very, very slim percentage of guys that look good in pink. We're talking maybe a half of a percentage point. One in every two hundred teen/college aged dudes look alright in pink. An even smaller percentage look SO good in pink that they should wear it on a regular basis. The rest of you guys out there, I'm sorry. Pink is just not going to look good on you. Most gentelmen don't have the facial structure/features, hair color, genitalia, etc. to wear pink successfully. You just don't. So get over it. The guys that do look good in it are the ones that have been wearing it before it became this summer's trucker hats. Those are the gents that are able to... nay, DESERVE to wear this color. They put in their dues. They wore it before everyone else started saying "Hey, you know what? Jimmy over there has been wearing Salmon... oh wait, no, I think that's pink... for a really long time now. He kinda looks good. HEY EVERYONE! LET'S PINK IT UP!" They stuck through the ridicule and the ribbing and now they are getting their payback by turning out to be the trendiest little billies on the block. So there. Get over it, stop trying to emulate every little fad that comes down the pike. It's pointless, it's unfulfilling, and if you're in college it'll drain your food money. Keeping up with fashion trends is pointless. Wear what you enjoy wearing. Don't go out to buy a new wardrobe every single season because that certain shade of maroon isn't "in" anymore. If you looked good in it before, you'll still look good in it after Labor Day, or whenever the ridiculous cutoff point is. Just let the people who saw these trends coming ten years ago and stockpiled accordingly have their fun. You've been ripping them apart for long enough, let them have a bit of fun. It's the least you can do before you realize that their shoes aren't completely bleach white... then you'll have a field day, won't you? Yes you will... Good puppy. I mean come on, people, isn't our culture superficial enough? Can't we just leave other people's fashion alone? Just quit trying to conform to some social fashion standard and be comfortable with yourself. If you try to be like the crowd, it just reinforces the fact that you have deep-seeded acceptance and self-image issues. Now, me and my novelty tees and "Jesus is my Homeboy" trucker hat (GASP! out of season!) are gonna go find me a pink-wearing posse and see what's up. Gabriel out.

So sayeth The Brad...

Selections of the Past

I just recently was on an archaeological dig in the depths of my car, and I found my long lost lyrics notebook. [Editor's note: Shaun reminded me that it was actually HE that found it... sorry for the confusion] When I saw "long lost", of course I mean from about a year ago, when I started my songwriting/poetry obsession. And as I "flipped through the pages of notes I've left behind" (that's a quote from on of the songs I wrote for this site, thought it'd be clever) I realized something very true about my past efforts: they kinda suck. I really only like some snippits from some of them. I might try to recraft one or two... or fifty... but for now, I'll take the ones that I don't want to remake and put some snippets in this entry. Enjoy!

from "Did I"
Ev'ry bone and ev'ry sinew,
Each and everything that's in you;
All our faults and human traits
Are nature you just can't escape.
All the flaws that in me grow,
Packed up in your very marrow.
But your heart, instead of red,
Is choked and black instead!

from "The Fall"
Shouldn't have knocked on your door that night.
Pain exposed in the pale moonlight,
Dropped to my knees, and I fell hard;
Cold and wet in your front yard.

from "Trite"
Nothing but words on a page
With punctuation.
Staring at the silence of the black type
With frustration.
Swear its like the others
I've written in the past;
All my deepest feelings
Recycled from the trash!
Shot for the moon; fell in the dirt
WIth a bruise on my heart and blood on my shirt,
And I'm so mediocre that it hurts.

from "What's Wrong?"
What, do you think I'm not good enough?
Did I call too little, or maybe too much?
Phone's not dead, and it's too bad
That you never entertained what we could have had.
If you only knew how much I'm used
To getting rejected and mentally abused.
Stuck in the corner so frequently,
Wondering what could be wrong with me?

from "Do You Remember?"
Even though I knew I'd miss you,
And I'd often dreamed, and wished too.
Somehow knew I'd be remiss to;
That's why I couldn't kiss you.
No one fills the gap like you,
Void that wind just whistles through.
No one else to heal my ache,
A longing I'll just have to take.
Believe me, darling - it was hard
Not to kiss in your front yard.

from "The Song That No One Heard"
And the crowd jumped up
At the very last show,
Clinging to every chord and word.
The band finished up
And let the last note ring...
And played the song that no one heard.

So sayeth The Brad...

Reflections on the Past

A famed and respected Japanese teacher was on his death bed. His students asked him how he was feeling and gathered around him, as he began to say his final words:
"I don't want to die."
His students looked around at each other in surprise. Sure that their teacher, who was much more enlightened than they were, didn't want those to be his last words on this earth. They were much too sad, and not befitting what they had come to expect from him. Most importantly, it wasn't comforting or edifying to them. One of the students asked him what he was "truly" thinking.
The master thought for a moment, looked into the eyes of his pupils, and said:
"I REALLY don't want to die."

I have been looking over my posts, dating back to the first ones that I made. Now, many things that I have referred to in previous entries refer to what I was feeling, experiencing, or thinking in that moment. The moment could have been a second, a day, week, etc. The point is, they refer to instances/feelings/whatever which can be transient in nature. Not everything that I wrote about is true anymore. Some things still are. And as I look back, I know that I could very easily change some things. There are subjects, people, instances that I expressed real feelings and desires about; but I could change these posts, making it seem like I was never emotionally attached. Playing it cool, keeping myself from seeming vulnerable. But there's no point to that. If I have no other place to be honest with myself, then I'm screwed. I need this to be a place where I can go to see how I have felt at different times in my life. I need to see what was said, what was thought, what was experienced. And to do that, I refuse to change them. They are what they are and they say what they say. That's the whole point of the story at the top. A person must be free to say how he/she truly feels at any given moment. He didn't change how he felt on his deathbed, so I refuse to alter my past recording to fit my present situations. So if I've referred to anyone (which I don't do very often), and our relationship has somehow changed, I'm sorry but I'm going to keep what I've said, exactly how I've said it. I've never written anything to bash people, so if there is an issue I'm sure it will just mean that a person has felt weirded out, or wants to know if I still feel the same way. Those people can come talk to me. That's all I've got. Thanks for listening.

So sayeth The Brad...

A Toast to my Friends

This weekend has been absolutely amazing! So amazing, in fact, that it's not even pissing me off that I am up at three o'clock with a paper yet to write! I'm just so pumped up! Anyways, the thing that has made this weekend great is NOT the vices, NOT the hilarity, NOT EVEN the women (even that one special one, although she definitely helped!). It has definitely been feeling in a very tangible way the amount of love that all my friends have to give, in the good times and in the bad. That's biblical, you guys; a friend that will stick by you even in the tough spots. So, if you're reading this, and you know this applies, then I offer the following as a toast to you! Grab a drink!

They said we'd grow apart;
Yet I hoped it wasn't true.
And when my hopes would falter,
Your love would bring me through.
But when your love will waver;
Our friendship that could kill.
But that day has never come
And I know it never will.

Pushing through the mire
And the shit gone on too long
I'll thank you all: My friends
Through the bad and through the wrong.
So when they all have left me,
With no shoulder left to cry,
You'll offer up me yours
And you'll wipe tears from my eye.

So sayeth The Brad...

Two Gorgeous Thoughts

"While everything is manifest, not everything is yet recognizable."

"There are few things in this world
More beautiful to me
Than a moon that is full
When you didn't expect it to be"

So sayeth The Brad...