Insight # 4
They say that my Archangel counterpart speaks to babies while still in the womb. There he imparts the knowledge that the baby will, in due time, need. Well, you're all in a womb of delusion, and it's about time that I slapped you upside the head with some truth. This is profound insight #4. I have declared it to be so, and so it shall be.
Being nice is unattractive.
So we've all heard that stupid, worn-out phrase "Nice guys (and ladies) finish last" right? I'm sure we've all used it or referred to it at one point in our lives. Well, for all the young adults out there, this phrase isn't completely untrue. It's just much too vague. You see, there is a REASON why nice people finish last. No, it's not because the guys lack the backbone or the fortitude to go and ask girls out while the jerks do. It's not because the girls fail to show interest to the guys, while all the bitchy, slutty ones do. Just because you're a nice person doesn't mean that you automatically are one of those that become extremely introverted and basically implode into themselves. Being a gracious human being doesn't liquify your backbone. Now, CAN nice people be spineless, and DOES that contribute to a small percentage of nice ones that get run over? Yes, of course. But, as this society is apt to do, we like to make a broad assumption about ALL nice people based on this very small minority. That's not fair, that's not accurate... That's just plain stupid. So let's stop, shall we? Alright, now the true insight, the real secret, is about to be unveiled. The reason that nice people (at least in the young adult age group) finish last is because NICE people are UNDESIRABLE. As much as you hear any girl say, "Oh, I just want a guy that will treat me right," or a guy say, "Oh, I just want a good girl," it's ALL a facade. Not everyone offers this lie on purpose or out of malicious intent, mind you. It's just that somewhere, deep down, it is only an extreme few of us (at this point in our lives) that want a nice girl/guy. Think about it: most guys find a girl that is cool to hang out with and provides no drama as boring. However, they LOVE the girls that play hard to get. Girls automatically assume that a guy who caters to their needs is a suckup, and that he doesn't have the kind of backbone that they not-so-secretly desire. They, of course, go for the guys that are concerned only with themselves, because that translates to them as "He can provide for me". We don't want what is THE BEST FOR US. Is this really so hard to believe? Look at the first insight I wrote. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY WANT. It's still true. Just cause I wrote that a few days ago doesn't make it less applicable. This , however, is the specific time in people's lives that, when they look back upon it in their twilight years, they say "Oh dear God, what was I thinking?" They experimented with drugs. They got drunk and didn't go to class, or woke up next to someone with three teeth. They fooled around with the same sex. But, most often, the day dream that prevails over all others comes back to "the one(s) that got away". We end up regretting the fact that we didn't stay with John, the sweet guy from campus. Or we didn't stay with Susie, the wonderful co-worker. Or whomever it was, whatever name goes with that regret. That's what leads to mid-life crises where we get sloshed and call up these ex's "just to see how they're doing". What could possibly be the reason for this? If it obviously turns out that these are the people we want to be with LATER in life, why doesn't everyone just get with them NOW? It's a very simple answer, and it can be expressed by another worn-out-but-true phrase: Hind sight is always 20/20. You look through any stack of photos and you're bound to see things in that picture that you didn't realize in the moment it was taken. In the same way, when we recall past experiences through memory, we remember how we should have acted, thought, felt. It's a sad, but true, state of affairs. As we are now, the flawed young people of this world, we are generationally retarded when it comes to doing what is best for us. Is there anything that the genuinely nice people of this day and age can do? No, short of completely changing who you are. And trust me, as someone who went through that, its not worth it. Be who you are destined/meant to be, nothing more but CERTAINLY nothing less. All I can do for us is send out a call to everyone else: WAKE UP. Realize today the reality of tomorrow. You WILL look back on this time in your life with regret if you continue on this path. Yes, I believe that there is a person that God destines each person to be with. Yes, I believe that we need to ready and prepare ourselves to be good enough for that person. But what if that other person doesn't shape up in time? What if we miss the chance because we're at one end of the scale and they're on another? Please, everyone, live with the mindset that what you do now DOES have consequences in the future. Be ready for who you're destined to be with. CHANGE YOUR MINDSETS, NOT YOUR PERSONALITIES. There, I'm done. I'm spent. This entry entailed several weeks of thought. Gabriel out.
Being nice is unattractive.
So we've all heard that stupid, worn-out phrase "Nice guys (and ladies) finish last" right? I'm sure we've all used it or referred to it at one point in our lives. Well, for all the young adults out there, this phrase isn't completely untrue. It's just much too vague. You see, there is a REASON why nice people finish last. No, it's not because the guys lack the backbone or the fortitude to go and ask girls out while the jerks do. It's not because the girls fail to show interest to the guys, while all the bitchy, slutty ones do. Just because you're a nice person doesn't mean that you automatically are one of those that become extremely introverted and basically implode into themselves. Being a gracious human being doesn't liquify your backbone. Now, CAN nice people be spineless, and DOES that contribute to a small percentage of nice ones that get run over? Yes, of course. But, as this society is apt to do, we like to make a broad assumption about ALL nice people based on this very small minority. That's not fair, that's not accurate... That's just plain stupid. So let's stop, shall we? Alright, now the true insight, the real secret, is about to be unveiled. The reason that nice people (at least in the young adult age group) finish last is because NICE people are UNDESIRABLE. As much as you hear any girl say, "Oh, I just want a guy that will treat me right," or a guy say, "Oh, I just want a good girl," it's ALL a facade. Not everyone offers this lie on purpose or out of malicious intent, mind you. It's just that somewhere, deep down, it is only an extreme few of us (at this point in our lives) that want a nice girl/guy. Think about it: most guys find a girl that is cool to hang out with and provides no drama as boring. However, they LOVE the girls that play hard to get. Girls automatically assume that a guy who caters to their needs is a suckup, and that he doesn't have the kind of backbone that they not-so-secretly desire. They, of course, go for the guys that are concerned only with themselves, because that translates to them as "He can provide for me". We don't want what is THE BEST FOR US. Is this really so hard to believe? Look at the first insight I wrote. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY WANT. It's still true. Just cause I wrote that a few days ago doesn't make it less applicable. This , however, is the specific time in people's lives that, when they look back upon it in their twilight years, they say "Oh dear God, what was I thinking?" They experimented with drugs. They got drunk and didn't go to class, or woke up next to someone with three teeth. They fooled around with the same sex. But, most often, the day dream that prevails over all others comes back to "the one(s) that got away". We end up regretting the fact that we didn't stay with John, the sweet guy from campus. Or we didn't stay with Susie, the wonderful co-worker. Or whomever it was, whatever name goes with that regret. That's what leads to mid-life crises where we get sloshed and call up these ex's "just to see how they're doing". What could possibly be the reason for this? If it obviously turns out that these are the people we want to be with LATER in life, why doesn't everyone just get with them NOW? It's a very simple answer, and it can be expressed by another worn-out-but-true phrase: Hind sight is always 20/20. You look through any stack of photos and you're bound to see things in that picture that you didn't realize in the moment it was taken. In the same way, when we recall past experiences through memory, we remember how we should have acted, thought, felt. It's a sad, but true, state of affairs. As we are now, the flawed young people of this world, we are generationally retarded when it comes to doing what is best for us. Is there anything that the genuinely nice people of this day and age can do? No, short of completely changing who you are. And trust me, as someone who went through that, its not worth it. Be who you are destined/meant to be, nothing more but CERTAINLY nothing less. All I can do for us is send out a call to everyone else: WAKE UP. Realize today the reality of tomorrow. You WILL look back on this time in your life with regret if you continue on this path. Yes, I believe that there is a person that God destines each person to be with. Yes, I believe that we need to ready and prepare ourselves to be good enough for that person. But what if that other person doesn't shape up in time? What if we miss the chance because we're at one end of the scale and they're on another? Please, everyone, live with the mindset that what you do now DOES have consequences in the future. Be ready for who you're destined to be with. CHANGE YOUR MINDSETS, NOT YOUR PERSONALITIES. There, I'm done. I'm spent. This entry entailed several weeks of thought. Gabriel out.
1 Comments:
I must say that I've often wondered why the nice girls and guys always "finish last". You put it in a very good way. Unfortunately, I've always been attracted to the nice boys but the nice boys just don't like the nice girls I guess. Assuming, of course, that I am a nice girl, which I hope I am. I've often wondered what would happen if I were to act differently. My friend once told me that she wanted to teach me how to be "a bitch" because guys happen to like bitches...I told her I couldn't even consider that. I hate hurting people and I don't like being mean to people. I'm not slutty and I don't push myself out there. Maybe if I were these things than everything would be different...but I wouldn't be myself and I wouldn't be happy being that person. I'm worried that the person I'm destined to be with will be too caught up with the bitchy/slutty girls to even notice me. I come around and I always end up in "friend zone". Which is good too because I love having friends, but I worry that when I meet the person I was destined to be with that I will just end up in "friend zone" with him. I'm not sure any of this makes sense and this is quite a long comment for what I really wanted to say which is this: thank you for putting this entry in your journal and for putting it in such an incredible manner. This entry echoes many thoughts that have gone through my head in the past and the present, so--thank you.
--Beth D.
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