Pink is the New Black?

This entry goes out in a response to a sickening new trend in the so-called "fashion world". This trend involves the wearing of pink (not salmon... PINK, because there is apparently a huge difference) by gentlemen. Now, I don't mean to play the whole "boys wear blue girls wear pink" scenario, but let's take a step back and realize the kind of situation that is going on here. We have DUDES wearing PINK. Anyone? Anyone care to comment? Yes? No? Perhaps? I was in the mall today, and I saw three of the most ghetto lookin dudes this side of the Ohio River. They had the long baggy jeans, a couple of fine biznatches, and... oh... what's that? A freakin PINK MOTIFF going through their whole outfits! I mean, it looked like they coordinated with eachother to look extra stupid. But then I took a surveying look around and saw that half the guys out there were wearing pink: pink shorts, pink striped shoes, and those stupid pink polo shirts where you flip the collar up... AAARGH! It's so frustrating, but no one else seems to understand.
Well I, for one, am no fashion afficionado. I've been told, and rightfully so, that I can barely dress myself on a regular basis. But I do know one thing: there is a very, very, very slim percentage of guys that look good in pink. We're talking maybe a half of a percentage point. One in every two hundred teen/college aged dudes look alright in pink. An even smaller percentage look SO good in pink that they should wear it on a regular basis. The rest of you guys out there, I'm sorry. Pink is just not going to look good on you. Most gentelmen don't have the facial structure/features, hair color, genitalia, etc. to wear pink successfully. You just don't. So get over it. The guys that do look good in it are the ones that have been wearing it before it became this summer's trucker hats. Those are the gents that are able to... nay, DESERVE to wear this color. They put in their dues. They wore it before everyone else started saying "Hey, you know what? Jimmy over there has been wearing Salmon... oh wait, no, I think that's pink... for a really long time now. He kinda looks good. HEY EVERYONE! LET'S PINK IT UP!" They stuck through the ridicule and the ribbing and now they are getting their payback by turning out to be the trendiest little billies on the block. So there. Get over it, stop trying to emulate every little fad that comes down the pike. It's pointless, it's unfulfilling, and if you're in college it'll drain your food money. Keeping up with fashion trends is pointless. Wear what you enjoy wearing. Don't go out to buy a new wardrobe every single season because that certain shade of maroon isn't "in" anymore. If you looked good in it before, you'll still look good in it after Labor Day, or whenever the ridiculous cutoff point is. Just let the people who saw these trends coming ten years ago and stockpiled accordingly have their fun. You've been ripping them apart for long enough, let them have a bit of fun. It's the least you can do before you realize that their shoes aren't completely bleach white... then you'll have a field day, won't you? Yes you will... Good puppy. I mean come on, people, isn't our culture superficial enough? Can't we just leave other people's fashion alone? Just quit trying to conform to some social fashion standard and be comfortable with yourself. If you try to be like the crowd, it just reinforces the fact that you have deep-seeded acceptance and self-image issues. Now, me and my novelty tees and "Jesus is my Homeboy" trucker hat (GASP! out of season!) are gonna go find me a pink-wearing posse and see what's up. Gabriel out.

So sayeth The Brad...