This Is It

So up until this point my little tagline for this site has been sort of a lie. It specifically mentions journalling, which I haven't done... UNTIL NOW. So get ready, because not only should this rock out, but it'll be more than a little bitter.

So I'm sitting here at The George at 4:30 am on a Sunday morning. Work is two hours away, I haven't slept, and I've been thinking all night. Well, to be fair, I've been eating-hanging out-desperately websurfing... and THEN thinking all night. And my thoughts have been centered on girls. The song says "I love girls, girls, girls, girls. Girls I do adore" but IS THAT REALLY TRUE? I'm starting to think no. Wait... I think that's pronounced "HELLS NO". I am starting to believe that these females, these objects of my interest as of late have turned in objects of scorn. (Friends of mine that are girls, avert thine eyes) GIRLS ARE REALLY STARTING TO PISS ME OFF ROYALLY! I mean, what is wrong with these things? Somebody send them back to the manufacturer, I think we broke them. Is this the sleep deprivation talking? NO! It's not. This is twenty years of observing these things finally being analyzed, fathomed, and written down for a smattering of people to see. Now when I say fathomed, I don't mean I understand them. Oh no. That'd be too easy. I only grasp all too well the harsh reality of their vast majority. I can see where these monks and priests that used to chill here got their notion from. They may have had some lust issues to deal with and no outlet for them but MAN! if they only knew how much drama and stupid CRAP they were saving themselves from, they'd have counted their blessings tenfold. That's what I'd like to do, swear off women and just use all my pent-up frustration to fuel something truly worthwhile. Like furthering God's kingdom. Or helping the marginalized. Or sausage (I've always wanted to make my own sausage... that just sounds yummy). Of course the real kicker is that that's not an option, at least not now. Celibacy can't be desired, you have to be called to it. And damned if I'm not ABSOLUTELY SURE that I'm not called to be celibate. So now I'm stuck in a world where I have to deal with and eventually BE with one of these thorns in my spiritual, social, physical, musical, AGRICULTURAL (I ran out of adjectives) side! Grr... I really hate that. They've got me so frustrated that I can't even form a cohesive, intelligent sentence. Or maybe that's the fact that now its quarter till five. Dang. This keeps me up too often. I'm fine with the NOT HAVING a girl thing. It's just all this stupid drama and prissy bullcrap that they start up that I can't deal with. Luckily, there are WOMEN out there. I gots no beef with women... it's GIRLS that are the kickers. Sadly, women aren't showing up on my radar (haven't seen hide nor hair of an unattached one in a looooong time). But that's what the summer's for. Well, I hope that I'll just have such a great summer that I don't have to trouble myself with all of this. But that might be a pipe dream. And this has become entirely too long. So I'm ending it. Thanks for letting me vent. Otherwise, this thought-stream would have just ended up as lyrics to a song that would have been REALLY BAD in hindsight. Saved by the bell, I suppose. I'll try not to write this vehemently again.

So sayeth The Brad...